Writing about good girl mentality means writing honestly about the destruction of self, drowning under that loss of self, and then breaking free, kicking upward to the surface only to have to destroy more before rebuilding. It means writing with no walls or masks and no pretenses.
I often feel I’ve let balls drop only to realize in actuality I’m still juggling them all and actually juggling them quite well. One ball might be close to falling, but upon closer inspection, I find it’s still there moving in time with the rest.
And the answer came like a small ember: I did love that broken, “hateable” version of myself. And yes I was worth loving even then. And I was more than that failure, even then, when I was in the middle of it.
This small ember of pure self-love was something I’d never had before. That ember has since grown into a roaring flame.
Half Drafted 