Writing about good girl mentality means writing honestly about the destruction of self, drowning under that loss of self, and then breaking free, kicking upward to the surface only to have to destroy more before rebuilding. It means writing with no walls or masks and no pretenses.
I often feel I’ve let balls drop only to realize in actuality I’m still juggling them all and actually juggling them quite well. One ball might be close to falling, but upon closer inspection, I find it’s still there moving in time with the rest.
You are nothing. You are too much. Nobody wants to hear from you. Nothing you say matters. Nobody. Wants. To. Hear. From. You. It’s the harmony of different voices and different people over the years crystalizing into one overwhelming crescendo.
Stop! My internal scream leaves everything silent. My own thoughts deaden. The crescendo abruptly halts. I matter. My voice matters.
Half Drafted 